So… Two days with Flo Flo. One’s mind quickly shifts to the challenge of filling the days. After the first smile of the morning and the excitement of breakfast, the reality sets in. While messing about and watching the Twirlywoos is great from 0630 to 0715, it does not a day make.
My male instincts lead me to cast out some requests to those who may be in a similar predicament, who’s wives work at weekends and are marooned (Mama is at Cotswold Baby Co’s Christmas market in Cirencester). Luckily, I’ve had a bite. My brother in law is at a loose end with a loose canon, and so we concoct a plan. In days gone by, this would have followed the following path:
Meet at the pub at 1300
Catch the train at 1430
Arrive at the ground at 1500
And the rest always sorted itself out
This time, things follow a slightly different path
What we gunna do
Dunno. Could go to soft play
Ok, what’s it like
Dunno, never been, wife said Flo likes it
So we duly head to the soft play place, where many other fathers have head, so many to the extent we can’t find parking. I manage to find a space on a nearby industrial estate and it’s now lashing down, but my continuous supply of raisins has kept Flo happy so all is well. Call comes in over the Bluetooth that my compadré cannot handle the parking carnage, so we are stuck. He suggests a garden centre due to it being dry and having food. I can hear wailing in the background.
So off we head. It’s absolute murder in the car park due to so many people needing to buy plants in November, annoyingly brother-in-law finds a space closer to the entrance than me, resulting in him looking smug and me and Flo looking like drowned rats.
So it turns out if you don’t want to buy plants or don’t care for small fish, garden centres hold limited appeal. This was proven by the two meltdowns experienced in the glass ornaments aisle at 11:55. Time to head to the café…
The café offers limitless bounty, including potatoes and beans for £10, a bottle of Coke for £3 and ketchup for 10p. We don’t care however, as the high chairs are clean and they seem to be giving wet wipes away for free (*no longer the case…) Flo throws her beans around and we all have a brilliant time annoying everyone else and not cleaning up.
Nap time beckons as the decibels rise, so its time to head out to the car park to get soaked again. Now the keep awake / sleep n’drive conundrum hits. As keep awake would probably result in a big car accident, we opt for sleep n’drive, and explore the countryside burning up the worlds precious natural resources all in the name of peace and quiet.
After an hour of sedate motoring, we get home and unload. Literally. After we’ve sorted that out, its only 30 minutes till mama is home, so we play on the floor, perfect blowing raspberries and read some books. The clock moves at a glacial pace.
Eventually, the magic key in the lock, and home comes mama. Lots of smiles and cuddles and I skulk off to the sofa and close my eyes.
“I’ve been at work all day, can you do tea and tidy up all those books”……….